Snake lover gifts: 8 shirts for snake people

Snake keepers get the worst gift options of anyone in the reptile hobby. The world thinks they want skulls and fangs and danger. Meanwhile their actual snake is a shy noodle who hides in a log if the doorbell rings.

I run Basking Club and these eight get the snake right. Ranked by real sales, printed on heavyweight Comfort Colors tees, garment-dyed and pre-shrunk.

The eight, ranked by what snake people actually buy

1. Snek

The internet's favorite word for a snake being adorable. Anyone in a ball python group already gets it. See Snek

2. Snake Boba

A snake sipping boba. No deeper meaning. It is simply delightful. See Snake Boba

3. Hot Girls

Basking under the heat lamp, hot girls only. If their female ball python owns the warm hide and their heart, this is the one. See Hot Girls

4. Ain't Easy

Because it ain't. Correct humidity is a lifestyle. See Ain't Easy

5. RPG Snake

Next quest loading, snake edition. For the keeper whose Steam backlog is as long as their snake. See RPG Snake

6. Python Bruh

A ball python just vibing. Bruh. That is the whole design and it is enough. See Python Bruh

7. Not Poisonous

Setting the record straight. The correction every snake person has delivered at a family dinner at least once. See Not Poisonous

8. Shed Zeppelin

Rocking out through another epic shed. The best band pun in the reptile hobby, worn proudly. See Shed Zeppelin

The practical stuff

Tees are $34.95 on heavyweight Comfort Colors cotton. Shipping is $4.99 flat in the US and free over $75. Wrong size? Returns are covered for 30 days. Details on the FAQ page.

The full lineup lives in the Snakes and Ball Pythons collection, and the Reptile Gifts collection covers every other species in the house.